Dog - Cat Funny

Usually I don’t do this but in the dog vs cat world this was cause for some serious chuckles. P.J.S.

This was a forward of a forward, which I asked Mary to forward to me. We laugh and laugh at this. Only it isn't true of our cat. ~P.C. : -)

Dog Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Ran back and forth in the hall! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play tug! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my Dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them I once again vomited on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in to their hearts since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Slime heads! They continue to pick me up and handle me; an obvious attempt to subvert me. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. Tonight I will again lie on their heads while they sleep and hope to smother them.

It All Started This Morning When I......

Made breakfast for the cranky youngsters

And fed the baby a bottle She dribbled milk all over herself and my new blouse I loaded up the kids in the carseat

and took them to daycare & school I was late for work, and traffic was a nightmare My husband called my cell phone

to tell me, he got laid off from his construction job

I got to the office (I'm a Tech Analyst) My supervisor chewed me out For misplacing the mouse I went out for lunch

and got caught in the rain I left work early to pick up my new eye glasses (wrong size) I then picked up the kids from school & daycare

Fed them all a quick meal Drove the boys to karate lessons And, then the girls to tap & ballet When we got back home,

all they wanted to do was watch TV

And, sing karaoke instead of doing their homework

After much chaos,

they took their baths

and got ready for bed

And after much hounding,

they brushed their teeth
Then I read them their nightly bedtime stories They finally went to sleep So, I tried doing some aerobics in the living room
Uh oh, I don't think all the 'fast-food'

and exercise is agreeing with me

Now, I think I'm getting a migraine And a runny nose I'm pretty certain it's the flu After a long and grueling day,
I crawled into bed
and was just drifting off when I realized I had forgotten something Dear Lord, despite the topsy-turvy day I've had,
I give thanks to You and For all the blessings You've bestowed upon me
and my family!

That's how MY life is going......so, how are things with YOU?

Forwarded to me from my friend - Des Steffens