Ode to January:

‘Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist,

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said “No thank you, please”.

As I dressed myself in my husbands old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself as I only can
“You can’t spend the winter disguised as a man!”

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracked and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
‘til all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick,
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits or cornbread or pie.
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome and life is a bore.
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot;
Happy New Year to all & to all a good diet!…..