PREGNANT TURKEY

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.

She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, 'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!'

At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yup................SHE'S BLONDE

One night I had a dream:

Everyone was standing before the throne of GOD.
In the order of generations starting from this one,
And going all the way back to Adam and Eve.

When God asks everyone to give an account of their lives,
Everyone turned around at the same time,
And pointed to their parents saying, "It is their fault".
The last ones were of course Adam and Eve.

I woke up.

I thought that is so true but GOD made a way for us
In His Son Jesus to break this chain,
But only a few compared - to the many do break out
And live life to it fullest.

Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD:

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests.

I decided to wash my car.
I started toward the garage;
I spotted the mail on the hall table.

I should go through the mail,
before I wash the car.

I lay the car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the trash can under the table,
and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I put the bills back on the table,
and take out the trash first.

Since, I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the trash anyways,
I might as well pay the bills first.

I see the checkbook on the table,
but there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go to my desk,
where I find the bottle of juice that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the juice aside,
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

But the juice is getting warm,
and should be put in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

Heading towards the kitchen with the juice,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye.
They need watered.

I set the juice down on the counter,
fill a container with water,
and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.
Tonight when we sit down to watch TV,
we will be looking for the remote,
but nobody will remember that it is on the kitchen table.

I should put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers,
but most spills on the floor.

So, I put the remote back down on the table,
and get some towels to wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember
what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn’t washed,
The bills aren’t paid,
There is warm bottle of juice sitting on the counter,
The flowers aren’t watered,
There is still only one check in the checkbook,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

I’m trying to figure out why nothing got done today;
It’s quite baffling because I know I was busy all day long,
and I’m really tired.

I know this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you?

Forward this message to whoever you think might enjoy it,
because I don’t remember who I’ve already sent it.

Happy Veteran's Day

A BIG thank you;

To all of you that are serving our country at home and abroad.

Through the years

Granny's Grandpa Whitney during the Civil War.

Granddad in the middle, in France during WWII
He told me lots of stories while I lived with them in Arizona

Granddad the youngest WWI Vet with the oldest.

Granddad, a Cousin and my Father

I remember enjoy going with Granddad and Granny to the VFW meetings.

My son, Jesse in Baghdad. 2003

Some of the boys of Baghdad running out to see Jesse
whom they called Yessid.

Jesse less then a month home and on his wedding day.

The heart of most our soldiers.

The Elections – In Iraq - 2005

This was written my a young man who is a good friend of my sons. He went over when my son came home. We have had many of our family members and friends in Iraq over the years. They are there to help the country and we have many over there right now. After all it is the country our Father Abraham is originally from. What he wrote -

The Elections:Today’s been a very long day with the election and everything, but I want to tell you all some of the things I saw today. I know that not everyone supports President Bush or what we’re doing here, but I see things here with my own two eyes. Today I saw a people who, despite fears and rumors that insurgents would bomb the voting centers and poison the water, came out in the thousands to vote. Today I saw a people prove to France and Germany and all of the other countries that have tried to put a grim view of the situation here, that yes the Iraqis want democracy and yes the risks are worth it. I wish that the people in the U.S.A. would look at what is happening here and see that we have a wonderful thing in democracy. No, it’s not perfect, but nothing that is man made is. To know that you may be killed just for putting some check marks on a piece of paper is a very humbling thing and when I saw people come out in numbers I have not seen since I’ve been here, it showed me that what I’m doing here is worth it. It is worth the risk of my life because they too are willing to risk theirs for a better future for their children. What is even more humbling is that these people know that there is still a hard road that lies ahead. They know that more people will die and that progress will be slow, yet they still move forward. So to the people that do feel we're doing the wrong thing by being here, I think that you should try living in a state of oppression for 30 to 40 years and see entire families wiped out for being Kurdish or what ever race you may be. For those of you who have supported us and the Iraqi people, thank you. This has been one of the toughest and most rewarding times in my life and one of much spiritual growth and a lesson in appreciation and maturity.

Just one of the many thank yous our soldiers got from the people

who desire freedom the same as us.

And thank you to you serving in other countries

we appreciate YOU!

The Old Dog

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the old poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says..."Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Baloney and brilliance only come with age and experience!

M R DUX

M R DUX
M R not DUX
O S M R
C M wings?
I L B
M R DUX

I use to get the biggest laugh from reading this but lost it for many years until the other day when it appeared again at my sister’s house. I was having a hard time reading it – until Amy read it to me with a southern drawl.

May you enjoy it as much as I do.

Vicks VapoRub

I don’t know if this is true. I got a big laugh when I read this. My family can attest to how much I like Vick. I have been doing this my whole life.

One story before you read article below.

When my son, Jesse was young I put Vicks on his forehead thinking that it would comfort him like it does me. Then I left - Tom came in a few minutes later to hear Jesse yelling ‘take it off - take it off’. At first Tom was confused about why he was yelling. Jesse got his forehead washed off and I have never heard the end of this. This still brings the biggest laugh.

COULD THIS POSSIBLY WORK???

Vicks VapoRub

WOW!! I was raised and raised my kids with Vicks how come I never knew this can't wait for my next cough...amazing!!!! READ IT ALL a believer in Vicks Vaporub !

Sorry, no graphic for this one, and don't laugh, it works 100% of the time although the scientists at the Canada Research council (who discovered it) aren't sure why.

To stop nighttime coughing in a child (or adult as we found out personally), put Vicks Vaporub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime, then cover with socks.

Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about 5 minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. Works 100% of the time and is more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly.

I heard the head of the Canada Research Council describe these findings on the part of their scientists when they were investigating the effectiveness and usage of prescription cough medicines in children as compared to alternative therapies like acupressure. Just happened to tune in A.M. Radio and picked up this guy talking about why cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs, so, I listened.

It was a surprising finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, and in addition, to have a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly.

Lolly tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent cough a few weeks ago and it worked 100%! She said that it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her, coughing stopped in a few minutes and believe me, this was a deep, ( incredibly annoying!) every few seconds uncontrollable cough, and she slept cough free for hours every night that she used it.

So, if you have Grandchildren, pass it on, if you end up sick, try it yourself and you will be absolutely amazed by the effect.

A Normal Weekday Morning to Noon, Spring-2007

Here is a miracle of God. Luke was dead but the Lord gave him back to us. And I am very thankful for this. You can read his blog -

http://www.howsluke.blogspot.com/

April 20, 2007

Every morning I go over to my sister’s house

through the gate in the back yard, to help with Luke

- getting him ready for the day.Exercising and having fun in the warm water.

He gets massaged,

dressed, and does more exercises.

Lifting his head on his own.

He helps brush his teeth.

He stands on the armchair while I blow dry his hair.

Here he is again lifting his head up. His neck is getting stronger all the time.

We work out on the big ball. This helps him produce a good cough
On the couch we work on - his arms facing down he does the swimming motion, up he does all kinds of songs ‘Wheels on the bus’ and ‘When I’m riding on my bike’ - his legs we do paddling up and down, a walking motion and bending knee – then he sits up this strengthens his back and neck.

We make-believe he is riding a horse.
He is getting to where he can sit up for a very short time on his own.

He is put his swing for his breakfast. Sometimes I stay there until he is done and afterward lay him on the couch to sleep or to watch a video.

Outside in his stander

Have I told you yet how much I love this young man? The goodness of God to me is beyond understanding. That Luke is alive, waking up more and more is a gift straight from God's heart to me. Later I will write about my sister who drowned when I was four, almost five and how God has worked in my life through these tragedies.
2003
Since Luke was four months old he smiled deep into my eyes. This picture is his smile to me before the accident. Before the accident I had this picture enlarged and wrote under it ‘May we look into the face of Jesus as Luke looks into mine.’
Luke has a beautiful smile. April 2007

Doing some school at my house

After working with Luke, I go home and teach Luke's brothers

- Isaiah & Ezekiel -

Reading and Writing

The Bears Playground

October 11,2006
Some folks who live in the Goldenview part of the Hillside area in Anchorage just built this playground in their yard last weekend for their 3 and 4 year-old boys. The next morning, the mom woke up to this scene. There were four juvenile black bears. Somewhere in the trees was the mother sow.

Later that same day, a large bull moose moseyed around in the woodchips, inspecting the area.It appears they may need to erect a 12-foot fence before letting any children out to play there.

AWWW, wasn't it nice of these people to build a play set for the wildlife? Only in Alaska I swear....

Sent to me from my sister- Lori

As A Young Minister

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends, who had died while traveling through the area. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open earth. There I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and"Glory."

I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before -- From Genesis all the way to Revelation.

I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. I felt I had done my duty for the homeless man, and that the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my tardiness.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another "I ain't never seen anythin' like this before...and I've been putting in septic tanks fer 20 years!"

Sent to me from my sister.

Here is the List

Wednesday was a busy day. In the afternoon I went to the Dollar Store to buy gifts for the kids that come on Wednesday nights. Have I already said that they are the greatest? Last week they did a coloring contest and a fine job they did, too. I was getting their prizes.

After setting everything up I was so excited about them getting their gifts and seeing their faces. The kids all had a number above their name in the order of how well they did.

Just before number four was called, Pastor Tom came in, said he needed something from home and asked if I could run home to get it. He brought Sharon in to help with the activity. I handed Sharon my list pointed to number four, Ben and said that the kids had numbers by their names. I ran home got the item and returned to the room. I was so confused by what I saw and I asked if they were already done? Thinking boy that sure was fast. They say no, we couldn’t read the list.

Here is the list that I gave to Sharon.

I am still getting the biggest laugh from this.

Jesse and the Hornets

And the Nominees Are...

Once upon a time, oooh, about 16 years ago, in a land about two hours away... Our family went out to visit my Grandparents. At that time they lived on the waterfront, with nothing separating them from the waves except for a rather large cliff. My two older brothers, being the adventuresome chaps that they were, decided to descend the cliff to the beach instead of taking the obvious way, the stairs. It was a pleasant summer day so it made only perfect sense to tackle this feat while wearing shorts. They had started their way down the cliff when my eldest brother smashed into a hornet's nest. Luckily, my other brother made it back up a little quicker, but unfortunately, Jesse suffered a gruesome fate. The hornets swarmed up his shorts, into his shirt, got entangled in his awesome afro, all the while he was trying to scramble his way to the top. All right, so shortening this story a tad, once he made it into the house my mom quickly whisked him away to soak in a tub of vinegar (yummay!) to help suck out some of the venom. I believe that in total he suffered about 25 stings. He started going into some form of shock and I was sure that he was now on his deathbed. I remember my feelings at that moment. My undying love of my dying brother, and the heartache of losing him. I could practically hear the soundtrack playing in the background (I believe it was the song from Fiefel). They had moved him from the tub and now he was shivering on the couch. I slowly walked over to him, knelt down by his side, and gently rested my hands next to his head. Tears beginning to swell in my eyes, I looked at him and said, "I love you, Jesse...". To which he so inspirationally replied, "OH, SHUT UP, NAOMI!" The soundtrack screeched to a stop.

Academy Award? Oh, I think so...