Army Letter from Zeb (-:

Dear Ma and Pa,

Am well. Hope you are.
Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer
the Army beats working for Ol’ Man Minch, a mile.
Tell them to join up quick before
maybe all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got
to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.(!)
but am getting so I like to sleep late.
Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast
is smooth your cot and shine some things
— no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix,
wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
You got to shave, but it’s not bad in warm water.

Breakfast is strong on the trimming
like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc…,
but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham,
steak, fried eggplant, pie, and regular food.
But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between
two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours
holds you till noon, when you get fed.

It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on “route marches”, which the Sgt. says are long walks
to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different.
A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home.
Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat.

The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some.
The Capt. is like the school board.
Cols. and Gens. just ride around and frown.
They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.
I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why.
The bull’s-eye is near as big as a chipmunk
and don’t move. And it ain’t shooting at you,
like the Higsett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there
all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges.
They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry
and join before other fellows get onto this setup
and come stampeding in.

Your loving son,
Zeb

P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 for the barn roof
and ma’s teeth. The city boys shoot craps but not very good. - Z